Fail Forward

A year ago, I got fired from a job I absolutely hated with my bosses’ departing words being “ya know, running will never pay your bills.” I responded politely with “thank you. I really appreciate your advice.” I walked out of her office and drove back to my empty apartment… An hour went by… no music. No distractions. Just sheer disbelief. I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn’t have a clue how I was going to get there. I had always wanted to coach. I learned over the past few years I wanted to write. I knew I wanted to travel. I knew I had become good with people. I have taught myself and learned…

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“Do you believe you deserve to be healthy?”

“I’m struggling with my eating and have no idea why!” Have you ever heard this? Have you ever said this? It’s ok, I’ve thought it, said it, lived it… I had a client walk in my office the other day and as she said this exact phrase, I could hear the panic and desperation in her voice. I could feel the fear she had as she said it out loud… I went through my process of asking questions and gathering information before I said anything. As she was answering my questions and starting to lose control of her emotions, I couldn’t help but think of the millions of people who feel the same way. I thought about all the people…

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Time…

Time… It’s the one thing we can’t cheat. No matter how hard I’ve tried. No matter what situation. No matter what aspect of life. Time is the one piece we have no control over. This is more of a reminder for me than anything. Going through a lot of change right now has me down in the dumps. I know I’m in the middle of losing something I love dearly. I am in the middle of changes in every aspect of my life. I know many difficulties lay just in front of me and somedays the fear alone is so overwhelming it sweeps my smile under the rug and I have a hard time getting out of bed, let alone…

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Good… but not that good…

You know the feeling? The feeling when you have given everything you have and it still isn’t good enough? I know I’m not the only person who grew up not believing in myself and I know I’m not the only person who goes through life, every single day, with this same fear that no matter what I do, it still isn’t good enough… When I trained for Leadville this year, I thought I gave her everything I had. As I started getting better and building… As I started doing more and more… As the summer progressed and I thought I was giving every last bit of energy away… in the end, I still wasn’t good enough… Turns out missing the…

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What’s best for YOU?

Things I was told I couldn’t do… Elementary School teacher told me my story for the “Young Authors” project was too unbelievable (it was a story about a basketball team who scored a lot of points and did extraordinary things) and maybe writing wasn’t for me. My blog about extraordinary personal, physical, mental, athletic, business changes and accomplishments reaches thousands of people and the encouragement from others to write a full non fiction book about my story and journey of extraordinary human and athletic achievement is stronger than ever. High school counselor told my I wasn’t smart enough for college and I should join the Army. Graduated with my Bachelor Degree December 2008. Tried to join the Army after September…

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Watching. Waiting. Wondering…

Watching. Waiting. Wondering… It is not the unknown that scares me most today… I stepped on the plane in Seattle and I couldn’t help but wonder what is about to come… I’ve become a custom to this feeling, having more and more of these “unknown” experiences. I keep waiting and wishing for a hint or a clue… hoping to see just one ounce as to what is to come, seeing what lies in my path… I have felt lost for so long, seeming to have no path or direction. I have felt as though something is coming but not knowing what is about to happen, I feel my body floating along wishing the wind would guide me along all the…

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Perfection is B.S…

Just because I have a cool before and after photo doesn’t mean I’m perfect… I’ve lost 200 pounds. I’ve run 100 miles. I miss workouts/runs sometimes. I eat the wrong foods sometimes. I over eat sometimes. I have no magic diet that will claim to solve all your health problems or suddenly take away your emotional eating cues. I’m not a superhero with a supernatural willpower to stay out of the kitchen or get out the door to workout. I don’t have a product that will melt away fat from your body… My only secret to success is learning how to take the next step after I want to quit. I started my fitness and health journey five and a…

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Leadville Recap- Lost and broken… leaving Outward Bound…

I didn’t even care I had 25 miles left. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to drink. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die with shame and embarrassment. I worked so hard for so long working toward my goals. I am so strong physically but, yet I am still not good enough. I have worked so hard cleaning up all my mistakes, yet they still haunt my conscience. I have worked so hard to make myself mentally strong but I’m still so immature. I have been patiently persistent with every aspect of my life and knowing I failed myself devastated me beyond control…… Part One Part Two Lost and broken… leaving Outward Bound I can’t…

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Leadville Recap (Part 2 of ??)

Leadville Recap Part One Mary gave me a few words of encouragement. Brad told me not to let Hope break me. I leaned in, looked Mary directly in the eyes and whispered a special quote, she whispered a polite request back to me and I was on my way. Hope I have known my strategy for Hope Pass for a year. After my dumb move last year, sprinting up the mountain, I knew this year required a much more thought out plan. My only goal for the entire section of Hope Pass? Just Keep Moving Forward. Under no circumstances was I allowed to stop for any reason, so I didn’t. I took one step after another. I watched people pass…

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