This was meant to be a personal journal from start to finish… but for some reason I feel it necessary to put the idea “out there” rather than just having it sit in a folder I’ll never touch again…
I want to personally thank my clients and a couple friends that have given me an extra boost lately. The boost from my clients made me leave my comfort zone and put together an event I’ve wanted to host for a long time.
A separate client gave me some much needed encouragement to simply believe in myself, my mission, my knowledge & talent, and to just keep moving forward… This is probably one of the greatest compliments I could have ever received.
A couple of my dear friends have, for some reason, believed in me through thick and thin… they have personally watched me fall on my face over and over again the last couple months, the last year, and the last couple years… and I will forever be in their debt for what they have done for me, how they have helped me, and most importantly, for never giving up on me… even when all I wanted to do was give up on myself.
For those who believe in me, I often wonder why you do… but I am grateful and thankful for you every single day I get the opportunity to move forward with clothes on my back, food to fuel my body, and a roof over my head. I thank you with all my heart.
I’ve always had a dream in the back of my mind about being successful. Success has looked different from time to time… sometimes it was having millions of dollars in my back account, sometimes it was being the top sales person, sometimes is was having a couch to sleep on & not having to go hungry, and sometimes it was just having the energy to get out of bed when I was a drunk, depressed, and ready to call it quits on life…
Some how, some way, I have managed to make it to where I am today. I’m back to dreaming of better days while I take action toward finding a way to buy my next meal… The days I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how I got stuck between these two crazy worlds.
One world where I know I have the knowledge and skills to grow my coaching and speaking to the next level… but not being able to find the traction to get the next contract signed… I drift off and wonder if I deserve to go hungry and continually live my life pulling myself out of the deep dark hole I have created for myself.
The other world is a vision of where I know I’m headed… I just haven’t been working hard enough for long enough to have received the gratification of financial rewards yet… For all the travels and adventures, I get to go on, I know they are short lived and I begin to wonder when I will get the opportunity to go again.
I have learned not to compare myself to others, most of the time because it leaves me in shame and disappointment that other people are living my dream… but I can’t help but wonder what I did to set myself back so far behind. Many days I ask myself if I should have joined a different crowd or waivered on my beliefs to get in with whichever fad is popular right now… I often think about whether people want to know what is really holding them back from success or if they want the “quick fix” they can buy from Amazon Prime and have delivered without even needing to pay for shipping as long as it works… because if it works, who really cares about why it works… and if it doesn’t then at least they don’t have to take personal responsibility for not changing this time.
When I look in the mirror, I know I have to accept who is looking back at me… for the good and the bad. I know the person looking back is smart and intelligent. I know he still needs some organization and guidance… but when I look at the Man in the Mirror, I can’t help but see the strong, confident person he has become over the past couple years. As much as he has been through, he has come out stronger than when he started. He has learned a great deal from his struggles and overcome many setbacks when most people would have quit.
When I look at the Man in the Mirror looking back at me, I can’t help but think about how much this boy has grown into a man. Through devastation and hopelessness, poverty and homelessness, alcohol abuse and depression, this boy has some how seen the bottom of hell and come out as solid as a mountain. I can’t help but think how much growth, courage, and wisdom has come out of the struggles and failures of the last couple years. Leaning in and seeing the soul of a man who has overcome losing everything and everyone he loved and cared about… and seeing the Hope and Sunshine he has and gets to give to others.
When most people would have given in to the fate of negativity, I was able to give my all. Somedays everything was one simple step forward. Somedays one step led into another shadow of darkness and some days it led into the sunlight… but one thing has never changed through all the wins and all the losses… I have learned to take one more step forward when it matters most. Turning one step into another and another until one day I stand out of the shadows and into the heat of the sun reflecting off the highest mountain tops…
When all was lost, I climbed a mountain to find Hope… and Hope is exactly what I found… From Rock Bottom to Rock Solid, I get the amazing opportunity to coach, teach, and speak to others about the life, the lessons I have learned; through wins and losses, from the bottom and the top… I use my own life experiences to show no matter where you are, no matter how far behind you think you are, if you are willing to take one step forward followed by another and then another… anyone can achieve, as long as they can see the idea in their mind, believe the idea in their heart, and move forward through fear and adversity… nothing is impossible to the person who refuses to give up.
For those who believe in me, thank you.
For those who don’t, thank you too.
For the few who have stuck by my side in my worst of times and somehow saw the man I have become, long before I knew he was there… I owe everything I have and everything I have to gain, to you because without you, I wouldn’t be where I am today, and I sure wouldn’t be headed where I’m going.
My Victory isn’t Crossing the Finish Line. My Victory is Taking the Next Step After I Want to Quit.
Best Day Yet,
“If you can dream it and believe it… You can achieve it.”
-Napoleon Hill; “Think and Grow Rich”