Learning to become YOU!

Can you see yourself succeeding??

If you can’t “see” yourself succeeding, what makes you think anyone else can see you succeed either?

The truth is, they can’t and they won’t… because it is up to you to change your own mind and let your actions change their mind.

“Tell me what you’re going to do but first, show me.” –Napoleon Hill 

Something I have personally struggled with for so many years is trying to get people to understand the changes that have taken place on the outside… I mean really, how do you get people to understand the physical changes of losing 200 pounds? How do you get people to understand running 100 miles?

Now, think about trying to explain how you have done both in only four years…

Honestly, you don’t. Unless someone has personally gone through losing an extreme amount of weight or has run 100 miles themselves, good luck getting them to truly understand… now try to explain to them the internal changes that had to take place in order to create the physical changes on the outside. This is where I lose most people because I can’t even comprehend the full extent of the changes… how am I ever going to truly explain to someone else the changes??

I spent many years in deep boughts of internal struggle and depression trying to force people to understand what I had been through. I was desperate for people to love me and give me attention for the changes I made on the outside, but I was more desperate to help people understand the person I had become on the inside.

For many years… and even today, I have been stuck in the middle of change working diligently every day to fully comprehend and understand the changes I’ve been through. Here are a couple life lessons I have learned from getting stuck in the middle of change between an obese 400 pound couch potato to losing 200 pounds and creating an elite athlete with a mindset to always move forward over adversity and past setbacks in business, fitness, family and life.

Stuck in the Middle of Change: the transition period between where you started and where you hope to “finish”

Why is the middle so hard?

This part of the journey is difficult for many reasons. One of the hardest parts is we want to move forward. We have seen progress and have gained confidence along with our growing improvements and successes. There has been a solid period of time when the numbers change, our actions are justified & rewarded and we are beginning to see the changes we have dreamed about for so long. We continue moving forward toward the dream of tomorrow while we work against the constant pull of going back to who we were yesterday. Every day feels like an uphill battle against a ghost we can’t see, but we can feel them tugging at us every second of everyday.

When we start to struggle with setbacks and we’re forced to face adversity, we must start facing the internal struggles that are pulling us back toward our past self. This might be the first time we have felt the tug of the past or it might be where we have struggled before causing us to lapse or relapse into the poor decisions and actions of the past. We must reaffirm our decision and build on our positive action to keep moving forward through the valley of setbacks and over the mountains of adversity. This is the test between our old self and the new self we are working so hard to create.

Herein lies the human struggle- we can’t cheat time and we can’t speed up the process. We must spend this time stuck in the middle of change to do the internal work through the process of self-reflection while finding our true self in order to develop the self-esteem, self-worth and build on the self-confidence we have created to get this far. We must be willing to take the step outside our comfort zone into the unknown of the future.

Most people get “stuck” in the last 10% of the transition period. Patience wears thin. The struggles become too much to handle. The adversity is too difficult to persist through. The internal pain, discomfort and fear takes ahold of our insecurities and forces us to slowly drift back into our poor behavior patterns of the past and let go of the goals and dreams of becoming the person we want to be in the future…

We must learn to have the courage and strength to trust the process and move into the unknown of fear, doubt and insecurities. If we slow down or stop, we drift backward and without consciously knowing it, we will wake up in the disappointments of the past and have to start all over again. Learning to have the patience and persistence to follow the universe’s guidance and process is hard because it is not the sexy version of change portrayed on TV or on social media. The “grind” is not the natural way of the universe. Grinding will ultimately lead to devastation and destruction of a person’s self-worth and esteem leading them to fall backward and begin again after they have “grinded” who they are away in search of the attention they expect to receive from other people.

We must learn the process of the universe does not consist of grinding or hardening… but of softening the heart and comforting the mind to release the pain that holds us back. We must learn the simple process of small and incremental forward progress which allows our heart, mind and body to work together to follow the guidance and process the universe has so graciously put in front of us.

It is in the process of unbecoming that allows us to become.

We must die a slow death of who we were to become who we always wanted to be… and it is the process of becoming that creates our abilities to accomplish the goals we have always dreamed of. Learn to fall in love with the process and the process will fall in love with you. You do not have to give up everything you are in order to become someone you don’t want to be… but you must put in the action to become the person you need to become in order to accomplish your goals and dreams. The process does not have to be painful, but there is a strong necessity to feel, understand and accept the causes of pain and suffering in the mind and in the body. We cannot escape feeling the pain, but we don’t have to live with the pain or find a way to numb the pain if we have the courage and strength to understand and heal from the true cause. It is in the process of healing that we grow. Growth leads to progress… and it is in the consistent growth and progress that we find our happiness… not in the superficial number or finish line we have put before us.

Find yourself in the journey toward happiness and you will discover a life worth living.

If you feel you are Stuck in the Middle of Change, please keep moving forward. If I can ever help, answer questions or you would like guidance navigating the difficulties, please schedule a time and we will talk our way through this together.

Schedule your call today! https://coachgary.as.me/callgary

Published by Gary Stotler

Gary Stotler is a father, running, fitness, weight loss and personal development addict. Formally 400 pounds, Gary has naturally lost 200 pounds, created a coaching & speaking business and has become a 100 mile ultra-runner. Holding a degree in Psychology & Sociology, certifications from the National Academy of Sports Medicine as a personal trainer, mindset & behavioral modification coaching, a certification in DISC personality assessment coaching and he is a certified speaker, coach & mentor with the John Maxwell Team. Gary firmly believes, if we take One Step at a Time, nothing is impossible. He is determined to let his actions show people what is possible and hopes to help you shake up your thoughts, change your actions and create your future.

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